Maternity Leave #NoFilter

It’s no secret that I had a (super cute) baby boy almost 7 months ago. Whether you’ve been following me on Instagram and Facebook and seeing the pictures, or perhaps you’ve just noticed somewhat of an absence of me in your inbox, there’s been a shift.

The truth is, my plan was to take 2 weeks of TOTAL maternity leave – like, no social media posting etc. And then a further 10 weeks of working one day a week in order to continue coaching my current clients and students as well as social media and content creation. 12 weeks mostly off and I’d be good to jump back into business full time. Or so I thought…

My reality looked like a baby with undiagnosed silent reflux for the first three and a half months of his life, which meant screaming and back arching day and night alongside all of the other newborn stuff. As ashamed as I am to say it now, I couldn’t wait to get back to work full time. The uncertainty and overwhelm of this new season had me longing for the structure and familiarity of my business – of something I could somehow ‘control’. When I look back on those thoughts now, I realise I was using my work as a type of escape.

In August, I created a new programme ‘From Shadow to Substance’ and ran it in my membership community for the month of September. I figured that would be my running start back into consistent content and coaching again 12 weeks post-partum as planned. Except, halfway through running that programme, 3 and a half months into Micah’s life, it was suggested to me by a friend that Micah might have silent reflux (as opposed to ‘colic’ which the doctors kept telling me.) As suspected, when I headed to the doctors yet again and explained Micah’s symptoms, the diagnosis was clear and the medication was given. It took 2 or 3 weeks for his body to take to the meds and sure enough, at 4 months old, Micah was like a totally different baby. I no longer shied away from baby groups and coffee shops for fear of a public meltdown I had no control over and for the first time, I found myself saying ‘really well’ and meaning it 100% when people asked me how motherhood was treating me.

As dramatic as it sounds, the truth is that I felt silent reflux had robbed me of enjoying those first few months of Micah’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally in love and enjoyed lots of sweet moments in those early days, but it didn’t seem right to me that just at the moment when I felt I’d be able to ‘properly’ play and bond with my baby, I was about to head back to business full time.

Not being one to ignore for myself the advice I tend to give to others, I trusted my intuition. I reflected and I prayed, and I came to the decision that September wasn’t actually the time to get back to business with full force. Instead, it was the time to head out to a couple of baby groups without a cloud of anxiety hanging over me, to start implementing a bit of routine in our days, and essentially to completely enjoy this little blessing we’d be given. I knew that I’d only have those couple of months once and I absolutely did not want to look back on them with regret that I’d rushed back to business as usual before I was ready. Yes, I now had a rebranded website, new photos and even a new programme ready for me to come back to business with. But none of it mattered because I wasn’t ready.

Truth be told, I was nervous about what continuing to work one day a week in my business would mean for me financially, mentally, spiritually and practically. Thankfully, God knew my plans before I made them and He’s sustained me through a variety of circumstances by His infinite grace over the past couple of months. I don’t take for granted the fact that despite being self-employed; I’ve been able to have a type of maternity leave for a whole 7 months.

Which brings me to today and why I’m writing this whole (quite therapeutic!) post. I’m back! For real this time. I’ve always known that as much as I’m called to be Micah’s mum, I’m called to the work I do in my business – to equip and mobilise women who know that they’ve been called and feel that huge drive and urge to something more than their current reality in life and especially in work. Having a baby meant my priorities have had to shift, but my mission hasn’t. I remember being a High School Teacher and being SO sure there was something else I was meant to be doing and never knowing what that was. It was only when I was blessed with the reality of being laid off that I actually started working towards taking steps towards making something happen. Not everyone is going to get an opportunity like that. This means that some will be stuck in situations which aren’t serving anyone and think that’s just their ‘cross to bear’. Enough. I’m here to tell you otherwise.

I think it’s also important to add that in my rush to get back, I tried to throw everything but the kitchen sink into my business, and some of it, I’ve pressed pause on. This is so that I can be intentional with the things I know I want to give enough time to before jumping into the next thing, especially seeing as at the moment, I’m officially a member of the #naptimehustle club and haven’t chosen to go down any official childcare route at the moment while Micah’s still little. Watch this space!

By the way… If you know you’re ready to finally draw a line in the sand as far as hanging out at hobby status or side hustle goes, I have just the thing. My ‘What’s in Your Hand’ live workshop has been created to empower you with the skillset and mindset you need in order to bring your God-given mission to life using the very gifts, skills & talents you already possess. You’ll walk away with a 4-week action plan and will be ready to get going immediately. To learn more and to register for next week’s workshop, click HERE.

Remember, the world is waiting for your work.