Actually, you CHOSE this...
Sometimes when you say that you ‘remember it like it was yesterday’, it can be one of those things you shouldn’t admit to publicly.
Today is one of those days for me.
But seriously – I remember it like it was yesterday…
I was in Primary School (like Junior School for you ladies stateside) and a group of my best girlfriends had decided to start a tribute band in the middle of the playground (as you do when you’re 8).
The Spice Girls had just become THE band of the year and #girlpower was spreading like wildfire. I naturally thought that with my afro hair and brown skin I was an absolute shoe-in for ‘Mel B’, but then I saw it…
5 girls practicing dance moves on the playground tarmac – everyone’s roles already assigned. And I didn’t have one. Naturally, I spoke to the ‘leader’ (the girl in our group of friends who always had the most say in everything we did.) and very ‘matter of factly’ she just said that the band members had already been selected and I wasn’t one of them.
To add insult to injury, Mel B didn’t even have an afro.
Anyway… I COULD have thrown my weight around a bit, suggested that it was ridiculous that I wasn’t a part of it or come up with some other kind of solution. But what did I do instead?
I cried and cried and cried.
Now you might wonder why on earth I’m telling you a story about an 8-year-old girl with rejection issues but it’s actually pretty important.
You see, even at 8 years old I CHOSE to play the victim, stand on the sidelines and make the word of my friend final and absolute.
I CHOSE to cry and call them bullies and whatever else I did whilst throwing myself a pity party.
I CHOSE actions which didn’t serve me (or anyone for that matter) because I decided that I was helpless and hopeless.
Now and again this behaviour would trickle into my adult life when I’d turn up somewhere later than my friends who were already in groups of conversation. I’d wonder if I was ‘allowed’ to walk over and join in.
Again though, that’s only because I CHOSE to sideline myself.
Which is where you come in.
You’re exactly where you are right now because you CHOSE it.
Don’t hear what I’m not saying… No one chooses some of the awful things we have happen to us and those we love.
But we DO choose how we respond.
We get to decide if this is going to take us out or build us up.
We get to decide if we’re going to sink or swim.
We get to decide if we’re destined for a life of victimhood or victory.
How you respond to what’s going on for you is EVERYTHING. Seriously.
Maybe right now you’re hanging out in the online space thinking and feeling as though everyone is further ahead than you, everyone is doing better and perhaps even that everyone is talking about how much of a failure you are behind your back.
Stories, stories, stories.
I’ve told myself all of them. Since I was 8.
Tall tales of untruth. And it’s time to turn the tables.
You get to choose what happens next. If you want to be a sideline sulker wondering why everyone is doing so much better while you’re still ‘back here’ suffering – go ahead! But remember you’re CHOOSING that response.
I have another one you could try on for size though…
How about CHOOSING to end the blame game today and instead, get pro-active about what’s going on in and around you? Why not draw a line in the sand of ‘doom and gloom’ thinking? It’s not serving you, it’s not serving those around you and you’re actually just doing what God’s put on the inside of you a disservice.
If you’re ready to choose the latter and want to do so alongside a group of like-minded women who have ALL chosen to steer clear of the sidelines, I have just the thing.
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