You are not a victim.
You are not a victim.
Now, I don’t want you to hear that and take it the wrong way. But that IS how I need to start what I’m about to tell you.
Because I totally understand that difficulties and even worse will occur in your life, and that hardship can sometimes be unavoidable. But I also know that you don’t have to play victim to any of it.
You are not powerless.
In fact, you are far from it. Remember the last time difficulty came your way? And you were able to overcome it by deciding that you weren’t available for it to be something which totally wiped you out? THAT right there is the power I’m talking about. And it’s within you at any given moment, ready for you to access.
I believe that each and every one of us is made in the image of God.
Let that sink in. Because allowing it to do so literally changes everything. It means that when you feel that you’re at breaking point, or your total threshold of what’s acceptable, or even beyond that – you get to recognise that you’re only using what’s been humanly made available to you. Which, if you’re made in the image of God, is essentially a FRACTION of what’s possible.
I know it might not be something especially comforting to acknowledge right now - but there will always be someone in a worse situation than you who is dealing with it better and I honestly believe that that’s about choice.
I remember, for example, literally sometimes crying before going to my job as a High School Teacher because I was in the middle of trying to get support from senior leadership, and they weren’t cooperating. It would feel like I was fighting a losing battle and it drained every part of me. All I wanted was the opportunity to be genuinely heard for the sake of the amazing young people I had the privilege of teaching – but no one was listening.
I believe that I 100% could have played the victim card, had myself signed off and admitted defeat. I mean, it was seriously HARD.
But I also know that God’s power at work in ME is greater than any power which might be at work in the world, and so I decided day in and day out, to show up, to work things out, to acknowledge the support I did have, and to recognise I could choose to do things differently.
I remembered that there are countless unemployed people who would simply love the opportunity to be able to go to work each day – even on the difficult days.
It’s also important to allow perspective to have some kind of say when it comes to us feeling as though we’re slipping into victim mode too.
Like when business isn’t going the way we expect one month and we find ourselves moaning and complaining and questioning ‘why me?’ All without recalling the fact that there was a time where the life you’ve created for yourself would have been BEYOND anything you could ask, think, or imagine.
I know for me that writing and coaching on all things faith in a way people which wakes people up to their calling, and then teaching them how to walk it out as they build purpose-driven businesses is literally my divinely dictated job description.
Which means me throwing my toys out of the pram when something doesn’t go my way doesn’t get to be a thing. Not at ALL.
But only because I’m choosing for it not to be.
I could certainly choose to say during those moments that I’m exhausted, and that I’ve been working ‘so hard’ and that it’s not working – and all those other things we say when we’re feeling as though we’re at the end of ourselves.
But I could also choose to remember that the end of myself is the beginning of an unlimited source of strength which God has placed on the inside of me. Knowing that, I can always choose to RESPOND as opposed to REACT.
Now, before you decide that what I’ve shared here are ‘first-world’ problems and so of course I can think like that, let’s remember someone like paraplegic motivational speaker, Nick Vujicic, who, despite having no limbs, has DECIDED to acknowledge power and goodness of God and make the most of the life he’s been blessed with. (Look him up if you don’t know of him already – incredible.)
Could he choose to decide that life’s not fair and that there’s absolutely no way he’s got anything to be thankful for? Yes. Is that the route he’s taking? No.
You get to choose whether or not your circumstances are going to dictate your emotions or not – every single time.
Now, don’t get me wrong – we’ll certainly have bad days where things will feel or will be more difficult than usual. In some instances we can choose to take time out, to not go to the event we said we’d attend, or not do the work we thought we’d be doing. Those choices can be good too. I’m definitely not suggesting that our choice should be ‘push through, no matter what.’ Sometimes that’s not what’s wise.
But make that a conscious CHOICE without pulling out the victim card. Here’s how we do that with a simple language reframe:
Instead of saying ‘I can’t possibly do that because I’m totally wiped and I’ve got a cold and I just feel awful. I’m so sorry to have to do this.’…
Say: ‘As much as I’d love to, I’ve got a really bad cold and I know that the best thing for my body right now would be to rest. Let’s reschedule this time.’
This sort of reframe works even when you’re just speaking to yourself as well. If you know, for example, that you’ve been burning the candle at both ends way too much recently and that you really do need an hour or even a day of Netflix and PJ’s, you’ll feel SO much better having that time by choosing to have it. If you’re still in this headspace of ‘I should be doing work.’ You’ll feel guilty the whole time you’re meant to be resting – which is no rest at all. Instead, just remind yourself that you choosing this time for you is going to be helpful in the song run. Period. No need to justify or qualify – just a choice.
Other helpful things to eliminate from your vocabulary are words like ‘I can’t’. You nearly always can if you choose to. In all things.
I’ve written this message today because I know that many of you are leaders and entrepreneurs with incredible gifts, skills and talents, but that right now – something’s ‘off’. It’s like you feel as though you’re trying everything to take your business to the next level, but that you’re shouting into an empty online room and no one’s listening.
You know you’ve got what it takes but your occasional (or maybe even regular) stinkin thinkin is causing inconsistency and frustration.
You’re ready to make WAY more impact in the world, but you don’t fully know how you can add one single extra thing to your schedule.
You long for a system which makes things easier so that you’re not constantly feeling 3 steps behind where your next level is taking you.
Don’t blame anyone or anything. Pause. Take stock. And work out what YOU are going to do about it next.
Perhaps, your next step is to get support from someone who can take you from your now to your next?
Carla says...
“I would have never believed I could work part time for my full time wage until I started working with Naomi. Shifting my mindset to believe was a huge hurdle that she made me jump over, and I'm still running at full pace! When I started, I didn't even have a business and now I have a waiting list without even having a website yet! Naomi has opened my eyes to so many possibilities, I have no doubt this work has delivered a permanent lifestyle shift.”
Sandra says...
"Signing up to work with Naomi was one of the best investments I've made for my business (and I've made a LOT). Immediately it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders... I didn't have to struggle in my business alone anymore! Naomi took the overwhelm I was feeling, helped me identify the struggle areas I was unable to see myself, and helped me create a game plan accompanied by loads of support. In less than a month I was able to go from burnt out and stalled in my business to selling programs that really lit me up on automate... and I even made sales while on a beach vacation! I ended up extending my time with Naomi again and again because I have gained so much from out time together. She is great at what she does AND she supports and encourages your desire to work the way the Lord is leading - which was a HUGE plus for me. If you're on the fence about investing... just do it already!!!"
The world is waiting for your work.
By the way… If you know you’re ready to finally draw a line in the sand as far as hanging out at hobby status or side hustle goes, I have just the thing. My ‘What’s in Your Hand’ live workshop has been created to empower you with the skillset and mindset you need in order to bring your God-given mission to life using the very gifts, skills & talents you already possess. You’ll walk away with a 4-week action plan and will be ready to get going immediately. To learn more and to register for next week’s workshop, click HERE.