Spoken Word: Courageous AND Unsure - Christian Poetry
So yesterday I did two things I haven't done in ages. One, I cried. Two, I wrote some poetry.
I used to write spoken word pieces fairly regularly as I just saw it as another form of expression. And when I sat down to write about what I was feeling yesterday, it was poetry which came out.
You see, for the past 8 or 9 months, I've invested in A LOT of mindset work. To be real? It's been life-changing. I no longer feel like a 'victim' of unfortunate circumstances, I'm able to reframe most situations so that we're not speaking 'doom and gloom' into everything.
And TRUST ME when I say that this former 'glass half empty' girl is so, so thankful.
But yesterday through some tears after an especially testing day, I realised that I'd actually forgotten the last time I cried. The last time I'd REALLY tuned in with my mind, body and soul and allowed myself to feel, even if what I felt wasn't comfortable or especially 'happy'.
Despite being self-appointed reframe queen, yesterday I allowed myself to just go there.
To go there with the tiredness of launching a whole new arm to my business, alongside a podcast, alongside continuing to share new content with my audience practically daily (which I love by the way), alongside my husband being just days away from completing his second degree and so home life understandably also being kinda tense at times, alongside so many other commitments elsewhere too.
I love the life we're building and I love doing what I love every day. But yesterday, despite me wanting to reframe and choose to think 'everything's fine', I had a bit of a cry instead.
Now, hear me.
We don't get to stay in those spots forever. But we do get to stay as long as God would have us there so that we might listen to HIS heart, HIS voice, and HIS guidance. Sometimes we're brought there because otherwise, we don't listen.
Some of the Psalms are called 'Psalms of lament' and the common thread which joins them together is that the psalmists are REAL before God about what they FEEL.
But the other common thread is equally important - they call to mind the TRUTHS of GOD so that in the midst of the feeling, there is still hope. God hope.
Which means it gets to be both/and, not either/or.
In the same way that we don't sit in front of Netflix for weeks on end eating Ben and Jerry's out of the carton, we also don't ignore our bodies/hearts/minds speaking to us by slapping on an 'everything's great' bumper sticker.
All of these sentiments came out in me writing a poem yesterday, which, if you resonate with any of the above, I figure you might benefit from too. I recorded it, so you can click below to listen.
Courageous AND Unsure - Spoken Word Poetry
I realised I'd forgotten the last time I cried.
At first, I felt satisfied.
Proud of the work I'd done to heal...
Until I recognised it's not WRONG to feel.
When things are painful, it's okay to show it.
If you're still working it out, it's okay not to know it.
Band aid on brokenness = more mess.
So, what am I saying?
That it's fine to feel anger even whilst you're praying.
That it's both/and, not either/or.
That you can truly be courageous alongside unsure.
Now of course, with the feelings, you still get to choose.
A life of emotion isn't a sentence of blues.
You get to decide.
Hide your pride and go all in for you.
Take what's TRUE and own it.
The tears, the joy, you GROW through it.
And what have you learned?
What can you take from your heart being churned?
What's your post-rejection journey of introspection?
What type of reflection serves your new direction?
Where do you land?
After taking this path, knowing it's been planned.
You're never left or forsaken, even when you're mistaken.
Lean in and feel that.
Let those layers peel back.
Then go again, having KNOWN the walk you've been shown.
Don't stop going. Don't stop growing.
Let your authentic LIFE be what is showing.
If you've resonated with this post and the spoken word piece and know that others will too, please do share it! If you want to go deeper in just experiencing the EVERYTHING of journeying with God, through both triumph AND trial - knowing that He's in the midst of it ALL with something to teach, share, grow and show us, then I'd love to invite you to join my monthly membership community Living Word League.
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HEY! I’m Naomi, Founder of Living Word League. Along with my blog and my podcast, Living Word League is home to a monthly membership community that provides interactive Bible studies which practically unpack the Word of God with conversation and content, so that Christian women can boldly walk out the calling on their lives to the full whilst keeping the main thing, the main thing. Also over at Living Word League, you’ll find self-study programs created to support you in owning your God-given identity and walking out your purpose alongside ‘Biblical Business Academy’, my hub of business building programs, courses and live coaching support for faith-focused female leaders and entrepreneurs seeking to start, build, scale and grow their online businesses.