How to move away from work-based martyrdom
I stood at the top of the steep staircase leading out of our tiny flat with tears in my eyes. The day before had been an especially bad day at the school I was teaching in at the time. A day which, I’m sure would have repercussions for the day in question.
“I can’t do it.” I murmured to my husband trying my best (and failing) not to cry.
I’d realised a short time before (in truth, I think I’d always known) that teaching was no longer for me. Not because of any one thing in particular. I loved my students and a number of my colleagues, I’d learned a lot in my 7-year career and there were times I actually enjoyed teaching. But for many more reasons than today’s message needs to go into, the career itself was no longer for me.
Have you ever experienced something like this? A certainty that you’re not doing what you’re meant to be, and yet no clear ‘escape route’ in sight? Ever despondently decided that dissatisfaction is your ‘cross to bear’, and that whatever your ‘this’ currently is, is it?
I did too.
I wanted to trust God and be obedient. I didn’t want to rock any boats. I also wanted to be the best I could be where I thought I was supposed to be. So I started looking into higher level study. I bought some books. “If I’ve got to be here”, I reasoned, “I’ll be the best and most qualified I can be while I’m doing it.”
Relate?
I never got those extra qualifications. Good job too, because a few short (okay, agonisingly long) months later, I was made redundant (laid off). God clearly had bigger plans for me than I had for myself. He wasn’t especially impressed with the elaborate display of martyrdom I was currently displaying – it wasn’t one He’d asked for – I just assumed the rest of my days would be spent living for the weekend and that that was God had wanted. He didn’t. ALL the praise hands.
For the next year or so, I enjoyed working part-time for my then church whilst working on my VERY part-time blog I’d started back in 2011. I didn’t know what I wanted from it, but working part time gave me the space I needed to focus on it more than teaching had allowed.
The blog became a devotional series, which became radio slots & interviews, which became a course, which became coaching, memberships, programmes and a certification. None of it I could have planned for – ALL of it, God did.
This month marks 3 years in my business full time.
3 years of doing work which fuels me. 3 years of supporting women who dare to dream AND to do, 3 years of trying, succeeding, failing, learning and growing.
I’m not going to sugar coat it like some might, it hasn’t always been easy, not by any stretch. During late pregnancy and the early months of motherhood, my confidence took a hit and so did my bank balance.
But I’ve also built a business which has afforded me the opportunity to work around my now 1-year old for this long without any childcare (I’ll likely get some part-time soon – toddlers are a different breed to babies, am I right?) I’ve paid for holidays, given back to charitable organisations whose work I truly love and support.
Martyrdom and grinning and bearing it wouldn’t have got me there.
Suffering in silence wouldn’t have made God somehow more proud of me.
Crying before walking into work some mornings wasn’t impressing anyone (least of all me).
Now listen, I’m not saying that we’re not sometimes called to hard things. John 16:33 literally tells us that we WILL have trouble in this life.
But that’s in ANYTHING you do. Wouldn’t you much rather experience your ‘trouble’ whilst pursuing purpose and passion?
I’m here to tell you it’s possible and that it’s GOOD.
I’m also here to tell you it won’t just fall into your lap if you pray hard enough whilst taking zero action.
Yes, I’ve prayed. But I’ve also spent time, money and energy in order to move forward in the direction God’s calling me to go. Again – not always easy.
What is easy though, is doing the hard stuff when you know it’s contributing to your overall mission and vision as opposed to slogging away at ‘hard’ despite not really knowing why anymore.
If you’re here to do the hard heart-led work, here’s how I can help…
If you know you’re ready to finally draw a line in the sand as far as hanging out at hobby status or side hustle goes, I have just the thing. My ‘What’s in Your Hand’ live workshop has been created to empower you with the skillset and mindset you need in order to bring your God-given mission to life using the very gifts, skills & talents you already possess. You’ll walk away with a 4-week action plan and will be ready to get going immediately. To learn more and to register for next week’s workshop, click HERE or the banner below.
